Book Review

Hi Friends,
I read two fantastic books recently - both in the Chicken Soup for the Soul line. The first is Find Your Happiness and the second is Food and Love. Anyone who knows me knows the Food and Love is my favorite! Any book that features food and relationships ranks high on my list.


Check out my review at Jamie's Precious Peas.

Happy Reading,
Andrea

Love the Messenger, Hate the Message

So, first, please allow me to say it's good to be back!

As you may know, I'm reasonably active in my son's school and spring is always the busiest time of year there. I am also teaching a great course at UCF. And writing product reviews. And I'm interviewing for another teaching job for summer/fall. And I started my own business this spring. And, of course, there's my family and house. LOL

Today I was listening to a wonderful motivational CD and heard a quote that I really want to share with you: "You can love the messenger, but still hate the message." Linda Toupin, National Sales Director for Mary Kay says this about the messages we may receive from our families.

We all want to be inspiring, uplifting parents. You know the ones - they say "good job, Junior" and "you can do anything you set your mind to, Sister." Yet, we are human. Sometimes we say things like "why can't you do things right?" or "That's not good enough." Ouch.

As we age all the comments fill us up - for better or worse. Then as adults, we sometimes don't reject those messages because we really do love the person who said them - the messenger. Yet, as Linda Toupin reminded me today, it's totally possible to say "that message doesn't work for me" while still saying "I love my Mom."

Are there messages from your past that you need to reject? The Bible says that God made us in His image. If that's so, then we are made just right. We can reject the messages that say anything else.

Happy Communicating~
Andrea

Handling Conflict

Sorry that I've been gone a while! I recently added several hats to my repertoire and I'm still working on finding balance. I'll continue to write as I can, though, and hope you find the info helpful.

This week in my class we discussed conflict. Not a happy topic, but one with which we can all relate.
Here are some short and sweet tips we discussed:

How to handle conflict

managing conflict: dysfunctional strategies:

do not say “we need to communicate more” or  “cooperate more”

do not blame the other person

do not attack the other person

do not be too general (specificity provides a starting point)

do not avoid conflict

do not try to keep people talking so long that they give up (people will vote ‘yes’ just to resolve the conflict)

managing conflict: functional strategies:

identify your problem and desires

express disagreement tactfully

listen actively (paraphrase, ask questions, focus on what they are saying instead of what YOU want to say)

persuade others of the value of conflict

develop trust

don’t take disagreement personal rejection

demonstrate cooperativeness if your suggestion is rejected

These strategies can be used in families, friendship, and business relationships. Try to remember that generally speaking we are on the same team. Try to take your focus off YOURSELF and focus on a common goal - solving the problem. 

Happy Communicating!

Andrea

Welcome UCF students!

For my steady readers, you should probably know that I'm teaching a business and professional communication class at the University of Central Florida. I love teaching and being in the classroom is very energizing.

Welcome to my students! As we discussed in class tonight, research shows that people who are satisfied with their family life make better employees. They come to work ready to go, don't spend all day at the coffee pot moaning about how bad things are, then go home to be with family. You can enhance your work life by learning the skills, tips, and research presented here.

I hope you have a chance to look around and enjoy a bit.
More posts in a day or so!

Happy Communicating~
Andrea / Dr. Scott :-)

Getting Kids to Play Alone Together

Well, I found it. And I'm positive that if you have children, you have discovered the solution to getting your kids to play alone together, too. And I mean, quiet, focused, in-their-bedroom kind of play.

All I had to say was, "It's time to pack up Christmas."

Now, I have to admit, my older boy did well with the tasks I gave him. The younger one...well...not so much!

As soon as we were to a grown-up-only point, I sent the kids to their bedroom. I've never seen them scurry so fast! And then ~ golden silence! :-)

I did manage to get a lot done. And my boys played well together. While they didn't get as much of a cleaning lesson, they did learn they can play well together. And perhaps for now that's enough of a lesson.

Happy Communicating!
~ Andrea