Handling Conflict

Sorry that I've been gone a while! I recently added several hats to my repertoire and I'm still working on finding balance. I'll continue to write as I can, though, and hope you find the info helpful.

This week in my class we discussed conflict. Not a happy topic, but one with which we can all relate.
Here are some short and sweet tips we discussed:

How to handle conflict

managing conflict: dysfunctional strategies:

do not say “we need to communicate more” or  “cooperate more”

do not blame the other person

do not attack the other person

do not be too general (specificity provides a starting point)

do not avoid conflict

do not try to keep people talking so long that they give up (people will vote ‘yes’ just to resolve the conflict)

managing conflict: functional strategies:

identify your problem and desires

express disagreement tactfully

listen actively (paraphrase, ask questions, focus on what they are saying instead of what YOU want to say)

persuade others of the value of conflict

develop trust

don’t take disagreement personal rejection

demonstrate cooperativeness if your suggestion is rejected

These strategies can be used in families, friendship, and business relationships. Try to remember that generally speaking we are on the same team. Try to take your focus off YOURSELF and focus on a common goal - solving the problem. 

Happy Communicating!

Andrea

Welcome UCF students!

For my steady readers, you should probably know that I'm teaching a business and professional communication class at the University of Central Florida. I love teaching and being in the classroom is very energizing.

Welcome to my students! As we discussed in class tonight, research shows that people who are satisfied with their family life make better employees. They come to work ready to go, don't spend all day at the coffee pot moaning about how bad things are, then go home to be with family. You can enhance your work life by learning the skills, tips, and research presented here.

I hope you have a chance to look around and enjoy a bit.
More posts in a day or so!

Happy Communicating~
Andrea / Dr. Scott :-)

Getting Kids to Play Alone Together

Well, I found it. And I'm positive that if you have children, you have discovered the solution to getting your kids to play alone together, too. And I mean, quiet, focused, in-their-bedroom kind of play.

All I had to say was, "It's time to pack up Christmas."

Now, I have to admit, my older boy did well with the tasks I gave him. The younger one...well...not so much!

As soon as we were to a grown-up-only point, I sent the kids to their bedroom. I've never seen them scurry so fast! And then ~ golden silence! :-)

I did manage to get a lot done. And my boys played well together. While they didn't get as much of a cleaning lesson, they did learn they can play well together. And perhaps for now that's enough of a lesson.

Happy Communicating!
~ Andrea

New Years and My Word

Happy Almost-New Year's Eve! 

So, I have to admit that New Years is about my second least favorite holiday. Right after Halloween. Not for any good reason. I just don't like to see the year end. And this particular coming year is the one that my "baby" will start school. Very sad, indeed.

And I'm not one of those people to make resolutions, primarily because it feels like setting myself up for failure. Do I want to lose weight? YES! Do I want to play with my kids more? YES! Do I want to spend more time with my husband? YES! Do I want to exercise every day? YES! And the list goes on and on. But resolutions always just seem like something that we should do, not something that will really happen. But then......

Just this week I was listening to my favorite radio station and it just so happened that my favorite DJ was on (she only substitutes right now, so I don't hear her much). She was talking about this very anti-resolution issue that I have! She said that she has started doing something a bit different. She picks one word to focus on for the next year. Then she spends the year thinking, praying, and living that word.

As soon as I heard this, I knew my word. It came to me during the Christmas Eve service I wrote about last week. My word for the coming year is SACRIFICE. This means many things, so I'll spend some time figuring out what this means to me, and how God wants me to live this word. I plan to do a self-directed word study in the Bible to find out what God says about sacrifice. I'll pray about how I can sacrifice in all areas of my life: my family, my friendships, my money, my time. And all the while I know I need to be careful not to be a doormat in my sacrifice. This is a balance I've struggled with before, but I know if I'm walking with God on this road, then He will help keep me on the right side of the doormat!

Part of the reason I'm sharing this is that you'll see my word reflected here. There will be times that my family and my communication will be influenced by this notion of sacrifice...and I look forward to sharing that with you.

So what's your word? Take a look at the website and read through the idea. See if you would like to choose a word this year, instead of a failure-inducing wish list.

Happy New Year, Blog Friends!

~ Andrea

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Friends!
I pray that your day has been filled with the wonder of our Lord's birth. While I've known for some time what Christmas is all about, church last night reminded me of the sacrifice that Jesus made in coming to Earth to live and die for all of us. That was clearly a reminder that I needed. I've spent my day since thinking a lot about how I can sacrifice for Jesus in the coming year.

Though we spend a lot of time teaching our children that we only celebrate Christmas because of the gift of Jesus, we believe that Santa can co-exist in that framework. So we do the "Santa thing" and open presents and eat lots of unhealthy food. Despite all that, it was a quiet day in the Scott house and I'm grateful for that. On Christmas Eve we arrived home safely from our trip to see "the Grandmas and Grandpa." While I appreciate the nice weather in Florida right now, I am tired of mosquitoes!

I've also posted a couple of book reviews over at Jamie's Precious Peas. One is actually a DVD that a friend helped me review. There are three cute Sesame Street stories about toddler life events: saying goodbye to a pacifier, getting a first haircut, and learning to ride a trike. Very cute!

I also reviewed Fit Moms for Life, a great book about getting moms in shape. I highly recommend this book for end-of-the-year reading.

More communication tips to come this week. For now, let's all enjoy the next few days as the Christmas craziness subsides.

God's best to you!
Andrea